Classical? Baroque? Who gives a shit.

On Mozart:
When one thinks of prodigious behavior, personal transcendent and indelible laws that govern an individual positioned on the outer lying realm of all the possibility and daring of human consciousness, one usually thinks in civilian or, for the lack of better descriptors, fucking bland terms. For example, The grace of the violinist. The focus and discipline of an athlete. The inherent nobility of a leader of nations.

Well, everyone knows Geniuses live in an otherworldly design. What my conclusion of one in particular presupposes is…maybe he didn’t.

Mozart was the epitome of the duality that plagues the grand delusionists, also known as me and my friends, of our time. He was by all historic accounts one of the greatest and most influential musical composers of all human antiquity, past and present. He was also a consistently broke asshole that enjoyed inappropriate humor and sexual harassment, heroic characteristics, past and present (and, dare I say, future?).

A frail man, he lacked the brawn of the noble savage and the stature of the royalty for which he played. His small, weak demeanor belied the strength and influence of his hands, which were usually one of two places, creating brilliant works as miniature pistons pounding the organs keys or creating pleasure, his and hers, second-knuckle deep in a powdered 18th century snatch. In fact, one could argue that he was the first musician to conquer a woman of superior physical prowess because of something other than his looks: The first Musician/Groupie relationship.
But to me Mozart was much more than that. Besides, through voluminous sex and scat fetishes, being a beaconing blaze of woman’s lib, a flawless writer of compositions, and a man after your authors own heart (read: blackout drunk asshole), he was an underrated and, and in his day, an unappreciated economist and monetary theorist.
Despite selling out venues to aristocrats, nobles, and royalty, Mozart was consistently broke and disheveled, remaining that way until his next performance or completion of a composition; a classical junkie whose demons lied in those Ivory Keys (White Ki's. I hate that I don't trust my reader to understand that subtlety.ugh). He pioneered the oft-imitated since financial theory of living affectionately called “Paycheck-to-Paycheck.” Piano Hand to Mouth with great hair (1), the only way to live.
The Hand, The Bitches, The Composition.(2) One word: Genius.(3)










1. Louthan, M., via text message, 2009
2. Derived: Leal, Babs & Olivarez, Esther, via text message, 2009
3. Leal, Babs & Olivarez, Esther, via text message, 2009