Democracy is not my standard.

If the state is a temporary establishment in the development of human society, an idea with which I follow and agree, then we who make up society are doing each other a great disservice by abandoning almost all study and research into political science.

People, as a species, are genetically hardwired to respond and act towards an incentive or reward. Individually, you see this phenomenon in the hard-wiring of human brain chemistry and with the “reward center” and, collectively, it is expressed through the external and material rewards of society. In America, we have created a political environment so toxic and ignorant -- so full of cruel, close-minded and mediocre, small people -- that our greatest and most able thinkers, instead of trying to understand and best a bunch of moron's in what amounts to some perverse idiot pageant, have completely abandoned the subject of political (and, arguably, economic) theory. And what has that left us with? Individual autodidacts going on tangents on a blog, a 200 year old, bastardized form of government that, while admittedly responsible and effective in hyper-local settings, in 2013 is woefully inadequate and laughably archaic, and the "Tea-Party" movement. Hey, at least those dorks are trying, I guess.

America (not to say anything of mankind) has a remarkably decorated laundry list of accomplishments in the realms of science, mathematics, and technology. By and large we have told our finest thinkers, and at an early age, you will be rewarded by society if you can achieve in the aforementioned fields; if find a cure of AIDs, if you can discover the Higgs Boson, or if you can create a social media platform, so is it any wonder that is what they set out to do? Unquestionably, we have reaped the benefits of our greatest thinkers and will continue to do so for generations- nobody will argue the societal gains and value- but why have discouraged investigation into matters of individual and societal relationships and freedom. Why have we discouraged the investigation of the relationship between the state and man and how we can improve on the various structures we have developed and implemented since the time of ancient city states?

Imagine if we were to take the same academic and practical approach to science and technology that we have largely taken with philosophy, both generally and politically speaking. We would have created the horse and buggy, declared it to be the most definitive mode of transportation ever, anointed it "God's will", we would have sold the idea (and the horse and buggy very cheaply) to the vox populi and stagnated on that idea so that 200 years later we would find we are an even larger society who is without the luxury of the resources or an environment with which to sustain a horse and buggy culture. That is what we have effectively done with respect to Democracy:

 "Government of the people, by the people, for the people" forever, no matter what, to infinity, no take-backs so don't even try to conjure up a better system or you are a traitorous racist who can find somewhere else to live."

My worry for a better future for my kids is not the "impending financial doom" or the "debt crisis" or any number of other silly constructs the talking heads crow about to draw up fear, it is only that they  might live in a nation and in a society that is (over)populated with too much "fat part" of the bell curve who represent the simple and sad cretins, content to continue on the status quo who willfully exist without a critical thinking bone in their body. A people who while more complicated than cattle are just as immovable when confused and dug in and a people who make movement, and by virtue progress, impossible.

Do I have a favorable alternative or at least the rough sketch of what one looks like? No. I have spent many years "working hard" to "provide for my family" and "be a good dad" and rationalizing that's good enough work and socially responsible and respectable. It's not, it's self-limiting and pathetic and wholly my own fault.

Is Anarchy the answer to a better world and society? Probably not (at least not for people like you when there is a sizable amount of guys like me out here), but I am hopeful there will be a time soon when at least people aren’t upbraided for asking the question of what is and the pursuit thereof.

White Boi Swag

Recently I have found, through my clumsy and rudimentary experimentation, that learned behaviors and human skills have more than one use.

For example, I have found that the skill needed to put a baby to sleep (read: be a good father) is the same skill needed to make a woman orgasm (read: be a good lover) which fundamentally translates to the awareness of bodily rhythm and the ability to sustain it longer than thought possible.

Namely, the ability to keep rhythm, at any pace, when you've come to the realization that you have found the sweet spot and not “geek” yourself into slipping up (the human mind can be a self-defeating instrument) and inadvertently changing your motion and sustained rhythm.

This difficult pattern suggests more than just the brute and brawn needed to rock a baby or pound a vagina, this of course implies all of that, plus another trait, the evolved brain of a modern alpha male:

He that is both the archetypical and fabled Sex God and Lover, but also the newly formed and created Modern Dad.

On Living a Life Without Meaning

On Living A Life Without Meaning:

Let's assume someone is not religious and does not believe in a Western God or a variation of the Savior myth (or someone is sufficiently skeptical to dismiss the payoff of heaven).

Why would one who does NOT want to A) investigate life with an eye for observation, in an effort to advance human understanding, scientifically and/or technologically, B ) does not want to participate and add anything meaningful to the human conversation with original creations of art, music, literature, or otherwise, C) does not want to procreate in order to add resources and prolong the human experiment and, C) does not, at least, find value in the sensory pleasures of the fruits of man's labor thus far, rich foods, booze and merriment, porn and easy sex, etc., want to go through the motions to sustain life?

It would seem as if that person would just be biding time, meaninglessly working and eating and sleeping and generally trudging about, before they sighed their last breath. It would seem that if, after an honest and thorough evaluation, of course, one were to deem that their life was more work and cost than it was worth and beneficial, would the most efficient and rational course of action, then, be to just, how do you say it nicely, unplug yourself from the game?

We regard the suicidal as irrational and mentally ill, but what about the man who exists with no merit? Wouldn't it be easier for the apathetic to save time? Doesn't it seem much more irrational, instead, to waste 70+ years putting fuel in your body to, not participate, but to watch people, like human isotopes, electrons, and ions, interact and share and grow and (brain) chemically change in this big test tube we inhabit?

Good Grief!

One time, a while ago, I was really hungover on the couch.

Not your typical "woe-is-me-I-feel-like-shit" hangover where some lapsed time, hydration and a nap cures what ails you, but one of those states of general malaise that rocks your worldview to the core. Paranoia, anxiety and confusion are the rules of that day and a man's only recourse is to grin and bear it and orgasm in one way or another.

When a man's condition is perverted to such extremes, brief moments of lucid thoughts and experiences explode like epiphanies. Well, it just so happened that as I lay on my couch - that worn, leather deathbed - in the background babysitting my children was a Charlie Brown musical and I heard a song. I had such a moment.

I heard this brief song and I thought of what foundational and deep wonders the Peanut mythology held. I perked up and felt alive.

My person -- my genius, as the Greeks called it (not the pedestrian definition we use nowadays) -- was moved. A two minute song perfect in juxtaposition; innocent children of the nuclear 50's playing a tragic masterpiece under the Gothic, pained harmony of that bitch Lucy.

I say all that to say, just now my kids and I got to share that same moment. This came on and we all, as if prompted, shut the fuck up and experienced.

I hope it meant as much to them as it did me.

Death in Venice - A Review

Death in Venice, while being a relatively short read, set in a short amount of time and on limited geography, was a pretty dense and, at times, emotionally exhausting read.

A few prerequisites to thoroughly enjoying Death in Venice:

• A firm understanding and working knowledge of Greek mythology, which is a prevailing motif peppered on almost every page from the beginning until the end.

• Experience with archaic, out-of-date language. While legitimately impressive, it could also be a deterrent if the one who is reading does not have a particularly robust vocabulary. I stopped and looked up at least a half dozen words, so I can imagine the frustration to a layman trying to plod his way through. But, it’s not Mann’s fault and it isn’t a mark against his writing and novella. It’s almost as if he was just on the unfortunate end of history, like he was using the “Betamax” dialect of 1800’s language because a lot of his vocabulary was defined as “archaic” or “dated” or “out of use” or otherwise EOL’ed.

• Speaking of being on the unfortunate end of history, when you boil it down the book is about a 50-something man’s smoldering and sexual lust for a 14 year old boy. It takes you into the mind, and really the downward journey, of a pedophile. It’s a fascinating look at how “innocent” pederasty begins, as a germ in a discontented, repressed, and, although decorated as an artist and writer, wholly average man and leaves you guessing at just how far down the rabbit hole our protagonist would fall had outside events not interfered

All in all, it was a good book once you got adjusted to the style. He was good, not great, at imagery; he put a lot of effort in trying to get the sounds and, especially, smells off the page and for the most part succeeded. I feel like Death in Venice, with its somber, grayed tone, setting, and homosexuality was an influence on The Talented Mr. Ripley -- I wouldn't be surprised to read that. That being said, in its style, language and aspirations, while not poor, it was an austere man’s less interesting imitation of E.A. Poe.

Not that I am a literary critic and my reviews are the definitive take on the particular subject as it’s just one man’s perspective, but I like to critically think about literature as an art form and I hope that helps answer your question!

A Rap Enthusiast's Top 10

1. Biggie Smalls. He was born with the gift of gab. Just a big, fat, motherfucker who was blessed with the voice of a generation. Not much needs to be said: The GOAT.

2. Nas. Nas is a more cerebral Biggie Smalls. If you listen to enough of his music you will come around to the acceptance of my theory that he is brilliant and probably has the highest IQ of all rappers. (apologies to OutKast fanboi's because, while Andre3Stacks is the most creative and artistic of any rapper- he's a craft artist, if you will- Nas is intellectual horsepower.)

3. Tupac. Tupac, while not being the most technically sound and talented rapper, had pure, unadulterated passion. In fact, I would argue that NOBODY ever rapped with more integrity. This motherfucker made the conscious decision to truly and wholly embody his music and, I would argue, traded his life for a higher calling- that of his art. He created and threw himself into "Thug Life" and truly lived like there was no tomorrow. With Tupac I'm reminded of the old ham and egg breakfast idiom:

"When it comes to a bacon and egg breakfast, the Chicken is involved, but the Pig is committed" and 'Pac was committed! He was an artist's artist and while I don't think most of his music aged well, he gets my highest respect and honor.

4. Ghostface Killah. This is a controversial pick for some, but I feel he has a true talent and is the closest to "Rapper/Warrior Poet". His unique brand of "stream-of-consciousness" is fascinating and stretches the listener (a lot of that is his unique delivery and slang as well, but not to be discounted).

Beyond all that, I don't think there is a rapper, save maybe 50 cent for about 6 months, who has ever commanded more tacit fear and I think it's largely because his music his full of testosterone and adrenaline, like raw meat.

5. Jay-Z- While it is my opinion that someone of his tenure and visibility (and discography) should have way more tier 1 songs, he is one of the best technical rappers. It makes sense after all, he followed and was close to Biggie. He is lyrically very strong and while he may not be a lot of people's favorites not mentioning him in the top 10 I think is fallacy.

6. Eminem- Eminem is an example, to me, of what happens when hard work and practice meets a unique perspective, story and style. Eminem could have sold out and been a bitch, but he made the decision early in his career to keep his music on the cutting edge (stylistically- not so much shock lyrics) and it worked. His unique style- not rhyming ABAB or AABB, but multi-syllabification within verses (eg. "Whatever 'happened to 'catching a good ol 'fashioned 'asswhoopin and getting your shoes,coat and hat took'en) is ground-breaking.

7. Controversial pick - Fabulous. I know his first exposure (and last to most music fans) was that pussy ass holla back song, but Fab is hands down the best punch line rapper ever. Cannibus, Cassidy, Ludacris- eat your hearts out. Lyrically, he does the most twists and turns and is clever enough to extend metaphors for multiple bars. If the rappers above are great literary titans, Fab is like the intellectual satirist.

8. T.I. - I generally fancy music that glorifies violence, misogamy, drugs, and glory and while there are grimier and more raw rappers that embody those ideals, T.I.P. birthed them in the South. I think what makes T.I. great is that his best music all has the message, by way of subtext and underlying themes, of hope. He reminds me a lot of Tupac and I think, if he doesn't quite elicit the same emotion and following with his fan/populace/constituents, when it comes to actual rapping, he is better.

9. Juvenile- I contend that 400 Degreez might be the greatest debut album ever. Juvenile, like carcinogenic cellular mutations in the human body and Mother Nature, just doesn't give a fuck and won't be denied. I feel like all men are born with a purpose. Most men use resistance and excuses to wallow in mediocrity and deny themselves the passion in their heart until it doesn't exist. Juvenile was a born rapper and nothing- not the death of his kids, bankruptcy, fraud- will deny him. Without rap Juvenile would cease to exist on this earth and I feel that manifests through his music. I think in 20-30 years we will all understand his genius and celebrate his entire catalog.

10. Lil Wayne- I think Wayne in TC1-TC3 (and all his mix-tapes) deserves to be in the top 10. His experimentation and exploitation of that time was remarkable in that he truly mastered his craft and could invoke his message, his journey, his being, in each and every song from 2004-2008. It has become chic to forget those days but I think eventually time will do him justice. In fact, I think Lil Wayne will be one of those who commits suicide because as the drugs, fame and fortune wear off, he will wake up in a stupor to realize that he sold out his art and is an empty man who spawned fagets like Drake and Niki Menage

Urban Spelunking in Search of Rooftop Tennis/Basketball Courts

For the last 4 months (since I moved into my current office building) I've asked around to everyone how to access this rooftop tennis and basketball courts and nobody I've talked to seems to know the answer. Here is a crude picture I took from my office. #humblebrag

My office overlooks a structure, I want to say it's a parking garage, that seems to be connected to the Plaza of Americas. When I look out of my window I can see a rooftop tennis court and full basketball court.

I have never seen anyone on it, ever.

My CEO has said that if I can figure out what it is and how to get on it, I'll be allowed to dick around and play tennis and basketball. The last two weeks I've been fervently asking around- building management, workers, The Marriot (which I thought was the proprietor as it seems to be right around that conference area they have)- and nobody seems to know anything about it.

**Update**

I got this note from Marriot:

Thank you for contacting Marriott. We appreciate the opportunity to provide you with information.

We contacted the Dallas Marriott City Center directly on your behalf and spoke with one of our colleagues. They are not aware of a full size tennis court, or a basketball court on a roof, in the area.

More information regarding this hotel's facilities and services may be found at the webpage below:

www.marriott.com/DALDT

You may wish to contact an associate at the hotel for further details. The contact information for this location is included below:

Dallas Marriott City Center
Phone: 1-214-979-9000
Fax: 1-214-953-1931 

***Update II***

Full disclosure, I am so terrible at things that involve spatial reasoning, things that include all of the following: driving, directions, parking, physics, geometry and exclusively abstract theories. That being said, I went on an orienteering mission to find a Tennis Court and ended up more confused than I began. I took a few pictures:

So I took the advice and went over to the parking garage. I took the elevator to the 11th floor (the highest allowed) and then had to take the stairs to 12, the top. Once I reached the apex, I found a door that was locked:

So I go back down stairs to the 11th floor and start snooping around some hallways above the Marriot. There is a testing company and I asked some employees but they were of no help. I went down the only hallway outside of that business and at the end of the hall there was a left and a right. To the left was a large, lit 'Exit' door that was locked and had a badge sensor next to a locked door that sounded like it had a server in it.

Down the other side of the hall was one door. I didn't take a photo of it because it was, for some reason, unlit and dark. I opened the door and I found myself circled back to the 12th floor door:

At this point I'm feeling like a first person shooter trying to learn a new map/world like Golden Eye or Silent Hill.

I resign myself to go home and get in the elevator when I notice the 12th floor has a star next to it. I took that exit and found a dark/closed/unmanned Dallas Regional Conference area.

**** Update III ****

It has since come to light why there was nobody in the Dallas Chamber and why everything was wide open, dark and seemingly empty.

Posted in April of 2012:

"The Dallas Regional Chamber announced Tuesday that it will move its headquarters within downtown Dallas from Plaza of the Americas to Lincoln Plaza.

The chamber, which employs 45 people, has leased the entire 26th floor at Lincoln Plaza, which covers 25,436 feet. The move is scheduled for the fall."

So, they are moving/have moved and there is nobody there. So either I get to figure this out and play tennis and basketball for free for a while or nobody that knows anything about it or how to open the door.

The whole place is empty but its open so I resume sniffing around. There are lots of empty conference rooms, break rooms, printer/office rooms and I think I hear someone rustling around in a supply closet so I call out and nobody is there that I can see/hear. Admittedly, I'm a little spooked. I continue snooping on tip-toe.

All the doors by the exits are closed except one to the very far left. It's sufficiently away from where I thought I heard someone but I couldn't be sure, so I'm weary about opening this door and letting it close behind me and me being stuck on a roof.

I venture out and I see a fence and I think "YES" this is where the tennis courts are, I've made it:

Then it hit me, "well heck, how does one get through that fence and no door?" So I venture further and see this. Really weird.

So, I turn around and take a picture of my office (the right side, 4th row from the bottom) from my vantage:

I'm done for the day, don't want to get stuck on a roof or get in trouble for trespassing.

****** Update IV ******

I go home and do some google/bing maps research. I see that I was outdoors on the opposite side, ostensibly separated by Dallas Regional Chamber:

So the next morning I'm resolved to figure this out.

******* Update V *******

So, I was advised it might be a good idea to call the Dallas Regional Chamber but I don't want The DRC to know anything about my attempts, or alert anyone really, because I don't want to risk my potential honeypot.

I went back up there this morning and the first thing I noticed was, again, The DRC was wide open, dark and empty. The place, I have surmised, is abandoned or maybe under the absent eye the Plaza of America's management group keeps it open for some reason, but its empty and everyone who worked there or had business there is obviously moved out and on to Lincoln Plaza (per the article I copied and pasted).

So knowing that I had a bit more confidence about roaming around and not getting in trouble for trespassing. I walk to where I was last at yesterday and figure I need to go on the opposite side. I find this hallway that looks to be the path. The tricky thing about this hallway is that I have to leave my bag as a door stop or else be at risk to be stuck in the hallway (the door says no re-entry on the backside), so now I'm bag-less. Notice the floors are torn up:

Upon reaching the end door, there happens to be a small, orange cone which works to my fortune because it too is an exit only/no re-entry door. Either management uses this trick or there is another rat like myself trying to figure out this maze. I prop the door open with the orange cone but am not too confident about it's holding power. And then, there it is. The promise land. I called my CEO. "Hey, you in the office? Go to my office, look out the window and take a picture. you'll know what I'm talking about."

 So, I figure this honeypot will be open to me at least through the holidays as traffic getting in to downtown is already light and people take vacations and all around half ass it. 

Anyone in Downtown Dallas up for a game of rooftop tennis or basketball?